so last night after feeling low and the mornings happenings were not any better, I threw up a challenge to God, or whatever you happen to call him when you worship…
I basically said: I challenge you to prove to me that this guy I am smitten with, is really worth my time & this whole lack of communication is just a fluke and/or serious misunderstanding.
I guess he called me out on my challenge b/c it would be one of the explanations why I got a response to a message I had sent him this afternoon.
I had come to find out a series of coincidental events- not suspicious, occurred and sadly, pushed my “danger- bail button,” they were: food poisoning, a car accident, hospital time, and a broken phone. they all seem unrelated but related and all seem pretty manageable in some capacity of human will but when all are lumped together- then, not so much.
the saddest part is that i had allowed a previous “relationship” w/a real douche bag, to ruin and cast shadow over something that was going very well despite my own insecurities and whatever hang ups he is harboring. past assclown just stopped communicating w/me and that has since prompted me to follow my gut when i think something is wrong- in previous instance i should have done this and it would’ve saved me A LOT of grief.
however, in this instance, my defense mechanism is wrong.
so i have no idea if a higher power took pity on me and decided i had put up w/enough & he’d dazzle me w/his god squad ch’i or if it’s the whim of the great magnet that pointed me in right direction.
who knows, all i can say is that i was wrong and look forward to being surprised by what happens next and forces of the universe.
btw, i lost my choo choo train of thought b/c i want fries- hence my lack of real finish. brb- McDonald’s run… mainly b/c there’s not a Wendy’s nearby.
p.s. this does not mean guy i am smitten w/is perfect and all is peachy but he’s less of a danger or whatnot than previously thought.
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