Tired…

I hate cancer…

Tired of feeling like a burden to family, friends, & loved ones.
Tired of feeling tired.
Tired of Not Enough rest or sleep.
Tired of looking like a walking corpse.
Tired of body feeling stressed or anxious, in dread of more needles, procedures, operations, biopsies, etc.
Tired of not having nearly enough energy for every day stuff.
Tired of pills & harsh medicines.
Tired of low immune system & people who don’t cover their mouths when they cough or wash their hands regularly.

• * sighs * just tired of it all…

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Cancer Update…

Survived first week of #Chemo (Mondays) & daily #radiation (M- F). Have 5 more weeks to go… 🙏❤️🍀🤞🙏

i Still need help w/expenses #Cancer– fight related.

Venmo: @ Olga- Cisneros- 1 & PayPal: Olga Cisneros#thefightcontinues pic.twitter.com/r3QH4Qscja

— Portia Ganymede (@ChicagoRilke23) January 13, 2024

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Not sure why I- me, has to go around & be go- between, do the leg- work when people that should be doing the work or communicating between each medical office and/or professionals.
They don’t seem to care to see why it’s a big deal to ask me stuff like- who did the surgery, where did you go, do you have a phone number, etc.?
Appointments and test results shouldn’t be up to me to hunt down.
I’m supposed to “relax” or “rest up”… big fucking joke- how damnit?! How?!
I’ve got other stressors aside from health & since whole process began- “trying organize my own health care”!
Not sure how some people have had an easy time w/cancer treatment, etc.
So tired of this illness & other issues it has spawned & the effort i’ve had to go through to ensure care, get info, etc.

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Thoughts on relationships…

Have to listen, not just hear each other.

Having own lives apart from the relationship is healthy as well.

Talk it out, not shout it out.

If upset, pause & reflect- then come together when cooler heads exist.

Find different ways to communicate, but always make communication & each ither a main priority.

Relationships, especislly romantically- inclined ones are an ongoing learning process.

You never stop learning, just as w/life. That’s what we all should keep in mind.

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– Still w/sore throat, chest & nasal congestion, watery eyes, and stuffy head. Head feels warm off and on. Occasional cough. 🤧 😷 Inner monologue of my body & lymph nodes: OH, COME ON- Again, Seriously?! 😲 😒

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It’s been awhile…

UPDATE: many thanks to my oncologist for prescribing antibiotics to help fight covid, while i also fight cancer.

Am feeling a lot better than when i got sick on 12/24- yeah i’ve been sick THAT long!

Tue. will be round 6 of chemo- should be my final round.

Then later on i’ll have a pet scan & dr. will look at results & determine next steps.

Given my lymphoma stems from my bone marrow transplant in 1978, there will be more appointments & treatments, etc. to help keep me well.

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feeling under the weather

Sore, scratchy throat- sneezing- head feels a little warm- head feels stuffy- feeling stressed & tired.

Luckily, my dogs & cat are here to keep me company!

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Office visit & labs…

Been a long day, feeling a bit weepy…

Had appt. @ 8 am- Dr. visit & labs.

• was reminded that once chemo is done, one part of my journey is over…
• Then comes more tests to see WHY/HOW cancer came about & how my immune system and bone marrow play a role…
• Will be doing further tests & other possible treatments to keep me “okay, ” etc. … to make sure cancer stays at bay.

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Can i ever fully use my facebook again?

– or are you going to wait until i die of cancer to lift page restrictions, etc.?! I use my page to update folks on my medical status/condition & for emotional support & mental health during my fight against cancer.

#cancer #facebookpost #lymphoma #chemotherapy

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What’s w/facebook?!

Trying to share cancer- related updates to my friends who are a source of support during my fight against cancer (lymphoma), but-

Have to have friends post on my fb:

[Olga’s account STILL RESTRICTED. My posts will be be lower on the feed for the next 24 hrs. due to some posts going against, “community standards”]

Really not sure why fb feels need to single myself or others out when i’m sure there are wirse offenders out there, perhaps those Not trying to Fight Cancer!

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