when i write…

i am not going to kill myself or physically harm myself. everyone has darker thoughts but it does not mean they are going to go shoot up a place, harm others or themselves- if that were the case then you would need a huge jail or hospital to house these people. many of them are most creative thinkers and such; i say this b/c i constantly get worried messages (thank you for caring by the way) & people commenting about how i should not share my morbid musings with others in public realm… i get it but i’m fine & people should be fine with it. there is FAR worse on tv, cable and in movies that should warrant closer attention than my cookie crumbs or the crumbs of others.

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Inside the Actors Studio: 10-questions

My responses to James Lipton’s 10-questions:

1. What is your favorite word?
right now, sassy

2. What is your least favorite word?
no

3. What turns you on?
a guy that realizes I have I love literature, opera, and romantic things despite how I come across

4. What turns you off?
babies and children

5. What sound do you love?
the voice of someone that makes me feel giddy

6. What sound do you hate?
noisy children & babies

7. What is your favorite curse word?
Fuck

8. What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Acting

9. What profession would you not like to do?
anything on a boat or in air- i get motion sickness

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
I was rooting for you the whole time; sorry about your mother and how it effected the family. OR I know what you and your family went through; Karma exists, and I took care of things.

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the write words

i seek legitimacy from my words.

the words hold me accountable

for my lethargy and false representation of my spirit.

i feel extra eyes on my meaty bits,

those morsels which escape the confines 

of my cerebral stew.

quite often my words flee

because i’m not fulfilling our social contract.

i plead with my words,

i tell them, “i write my best stuff when i’m pissed off!”

my words briefly halt their mass exodus long enough to look back at me;

i am fumbling with my paper and pen.

the words then scoff at my mediocrity,

and my feeble attempts at being a poet.

 

 

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O’ Muse!

recently i began writing and sending out poems for possible publication. this sounds easy but when you’re job hunting at the same time, the brain is tired by the time you want to put to paper a lot of your musings. i tend to write more- and better, when i am frustrated, etc. while this is productive, it is not always best for my ch’i. to remedy this, i have taken to writing when not in an angst-ridden mood, and writing when i am somewhat content. i write half-mocking, half- loving my inner most feelings. so far it has produced a poem that bashes my efforts to write and be a poet. when i write i tend to not think of myself as the next Shakespeare or Ginsberg but as a broad with something to say- for me & maybe if it tickles the fancy of others, so be it…

still, my words would like a playground to strut their stuff on so if anyone knows of any places that may like some of my musings (see poems within my wordpress page), do let me know. thanks!

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a pair of eyes

she walked through a jungle of haunting memories and once happy occasions

she felt a pair of eyes on her; they had been there most of her life

she ran through rains of methane fears and abandoned years

trapped, the eyes greedily devoured her as she trembled on the edge of the cliff

her remains became food for foes- human ants that sting and bite

and carry her mangled meaty bits 

through the jungle’s past present and future

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the shape of things

i haven’t written anything- poetic in nature in awhile or at least as i should be doing daily. in all honesty, i feel guilty for abandoning my craft and leaving my creative ch’i cowering in the corner- an oliver of words, asking- can i please have some more?! but alas my own preoccupied gloom has starved my young inner ch’i-ld. so perhaps in the spirit of oliver- thank you masterpiece theater, i will try something right now, haha.

a small, beating rhombus-like mass was seen sulking about the town

while rhombus-shaped does not do the form justice,

i think it best captures the feel of the creature.

years of mental stress and emotional fulfillment have left it well-

oblong but round with what spirit is left- thus you have a rhombus- shaped form…

in any case, the figure sulked through town creating a trail of decaying memories of hope and love behind.

i hoped to have caught a better view of it but all i can tell you is it’s general shape and the creature’s attire.

and that creative writing choo-choo has left the sattion. grrr.

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hey, so do you mind if i step on you?

no?

yay! BFF’S!!!

(i have that pier one commercial in mind that has the lady walking in store as a penguin ornament asks a lady- hey, psst- does this tree make me look fat?! lady says- No w/the penguin replying w/YAY BFF’S!)

that commercial always makes me giggle.

anyhoo, so i think i may have found a new BFF- fear not my female and male BFF’s, you are both very safe.  😉

i’ve been pet sitting and the time to bask in the awesomeness that is ME, has led me to venture into the house’s workout room. the other night, after walking the dog for about 30 min., and almost getting lost- thank god for phone and map feature, about only real use i care to admit a smart phone has in my opinion. more on that later.

after the walk, i came in and hit the treadmill for 30 min. after i felt great and relaxed w/some Richard III watching and later some frank Sinatra reading. i thought it would be nice to repeat same thing the next night.

this leads me to the next day. i awoke and went out for a bit but came back to work and then followed it up w/a walk in the cold and rain. i then hit the treadmill for another 30 min. huzzah.

now friday since i do not work i am thinking i will take the dog on a longer walk, say and hour and then hit the weight bench thing-a-ma-bob, then the treadmill for a wee bit. yes, it shall be so.

i got so excited the first night i was working out, i went out and bought some sports bras, work out pants and tops and some snazzy sneakers 😉  double huzzah!

the trick is that i must keep this up when i no longer pet sit. alas, no more work out room. also, it is nice that the work out stuff is at pet sitting location b/c i am more prone to being proactive about working out. SO, i’ve been looking for a treadmill on craig’s list- shhh, don’t tell my current bff/treadmill; i’m afraid he will get jealous- yes, as with human males, i think my bff treadmill will get jealous 😉 lol j/k <giggles>

not sure what to look for which is why i shall be picking the brains of some of my pals that actually work out, etc.

stay tuned for future work out updates, bff updates- no not really, and all words in between 😀

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