Many of you remember me as I looked at the end of the Avengers – beaten down (literally) and my efforts to force others to bask in my Awesomeness, ruined!!! But what many of you Don’t Know, is that I am oddly fond of putting my thoughts out for the ill masses to read and attempt to comprehend with their simple minds…
SO! For your first taste of my Elegant and Nimble Mind, A POEM! <insert evil squeal>
I have a brother named Thor
who thinks he be great
but is really a BORE!
So I snore-
until I rule
Asgard
and the idiots of earth
once more!
* * *
And now, for a journal entry! So I thought I would go on this InterNet which these silly mortals often use and drone on about! I created a profile on this thing called “twitter.” I had my account for NOT EVEN a damn day and deleted it after a few hours! I mean seriously! Who the hell can only limit what they say to a few meager words!!! Ridiculous! I did allow my other selves that I occasionally conjure up, to create and keep profiles of their own 😉 So if you see me on twitter, it is more than likely one of my Awesome Other-selves! So far I enjoy this “word press”… it would seem that it offers more space for me to reach my minions and vent about that which ANGERS me- namely that surfer or hippie- thor! UGH! <insert SEVERAL eye rolls>
Do you know what my captors did?! They put me in some sort of containment facility!!! ME!!!!! LOCKED UP!!! I can’t see why! I am doing a good deed in trying to become King and rule of these earth people/creatures! These earth simpletons simply DON’T KNOW WHAT They’re missing!!!
Anyway, I’m SO BORED!!! I can only read what books I have SO many times! I’m surprised my captors let me keep some of tools of magic. I created my own deliciously evil tablet so I can recruit minions on earth to do my bidding! <insert slight maniacal giggle> I think I’ll order several thousand pizzas and have thor pay for it all! 😉
Oddly enough, I met a fellow evil doer on earth! She’s my first online minion, oops- I mean friend. I hope she never sees this, HAHAHAHAHA- anyway.
AAAARRRRRGGGGHHH! (Hang on, here comes thor to do his nightly teasing of me being locked up) yes thor, what do you want?!
thor: blah blah blah i’ve got awesome blond hair and i look like Fabio’s brother. i could be on a romance novel and get ALL the Girls if I didn’t have JANE!
I hate when he does this crap! And he ALWAYS DRONES ON AND ON AND ON . . . AND ON AND ON about silly JANE! What’s SOOO Great about her anyway, puny little earth child! BLECH!!! She’s got rabies or something, I don’t know. I bet all earth folk are as useless as she is, I bet she just sits around earth waiting for my brother to rescue her so she can just drool over him— TOLD YOU That She Has Rabies!
Oh, btw- HE’S STILL TALKING! Little does he know I’m just creating the image of me actually paying attention to him. I am really here “online” as earth asshats call it; I wonder how long he’ll go on spewing forth senseless drivel about how I need to behave, properly join the family again, and “pay” for what I did to new york— PUH-LEASE!!! Like those Avenger twits didn’t do HALF of that?! I can’t do bad all by myself now can I?! *sighs* Actually I can, I just like to have others do my dirty work so I don’t have to work as much 😉
SHIT!!! Got to go my little earth imps, Frigga is coming to speak with me; I sort of like her- she’s not nearly as annoying as thor and my “father” is . . .
OH! And thor is STILL talking to me- damn, put a Norn stone in it!!!
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