so what do you do when you feel your ch’i is out of whack? i tend to write but sometimes even that doesn’t do it for me. i find that often i sit there and stew in my angst like i’m cooking for friends. why is it hard to perk one’s self up? why are we sometimes so good at being there for others but when it comes to our own happiness we suck so badly.
perhaps it has to do w/our familiarity with our own coping mechanisms and our toughness on ourselves- yes, i think they help do us in so to speak. it’s as if we are battling ourselves and are just like- really, come on- that all you got?! you call that a defense?!
for example, recently i got out of a relationship and while i know it’s over and i realize it is good i am not miserable, i can’t find ways to adequately cope w/my disappointment and gloomy self. usually i write but that is not helping as much w/my mopey ch’i has its done in the past. i would talk to friends but that only goes so far before you sound like a broken record player and since they did not participate in the realtionship, they can never fully speak so well on it… reading, well that just lets my mind wander and then often say- well, look at these people in this book- they’re getting along fine! why does my attempt at love have to fail miserably?
perhaps Professor Lupin from Harry Potter had the right idea when he kept giving Harry a piece of chocolate to make him feel better… now where’s that Nutella?!
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